What was I to do? If I died that day, would I be able to say I’d been happy? I doubted that because, even when I had the opportunity or chance for marriage, my motivation was lacking whenever I considered a dash to the nearest altar. Having a husband, children, a house, car, and a mortgage weren’t my own creations. They were based on a partnership shared, not something I could lay absolute claim to, nor were they things to which I saw the need to make long-term commitments. What really made me happy?